Key Takeaways
- Relapse or reoccurrence is a common, often predictable, feature of chronic illness, including Substance Use Disorders (SUD), and does not negate your past progress.
- The Blanchard Institute views recovery as a continuous learning process, where setbacks offer critical data for growth, not a reason for shame.
- Self-compassion and immediate re-engagement with professional support are the most crucial steps to transform a lapse into a resilient comeback.
- Structured relapse prevention and robust aftercare are essential safety nets for long-term sobriety.
The word “relapse” often carries a lot of stigma, misunderstanding, fear and shame. As we have learned more about the disease, treatment and recovery process—we’ve also developed more accurate and progressive methods and perspectives. For instance, relapse holds such an impactful and heavy place in the overall disease/treatment/recovery process, and it helps to truly and intentionally understand it. Thus, at The Blanchard Institute, we often use “reoccurrence” as more progressive and hopeful terminology.
Introduction: Normalizing the Setback
After days, weeks, or even months of hard-won sobriety, a single slip can trigger an avalanche of shame and fear. The loop starts playing on repeat in your head: You’ve failed. All your progress is erased. You’re right back where you started. Your chest tightens. You can already feel the disappointment of the people who believed in you. Maybe you’re not strong enough for this. If you’re experiencing this right now, please hear this: you haven’t lost everything.
At The Blanchard Institute, we approach recovery with a fundamental understanding that relapse or reoccurrence is not failure—it’s an opportunity for reflection, growth, and hopefully healthy change in one’s recovery journey.. Substance use disorder is a chronic condition, and like other chronic diseases that affect both mental health and physical wellbeing, it sometimes involves setbacks setbacks or recurrences. In fact, SUD at 40-60%, has the same or less than the reoccurrence rate as asthma (60-70%), diabetes (50%) and hypertension (60-70%); do we look at recurrences with these other conditions as a failure? Just as a person managing diabetes might experience blood sugar fluctuations or someone with asthma might have a flare-up, individuals in recovery may experience relapse. This doesn’t negate the progress made; it simply means you keep going, now with a clearer picture of what you’re up against.
So, with that in mind, let’s dig into why relapse happens in the first place—and more importantly, how to get back up and come back even stronger.
The Science of Setbacks: Why Reoccurrence Is Common
Understanding what’s actually happening in your brain changes everything about how we view relapse. Addiction literally rewires the parts of your brain that handle reward, motivation, and decision-making. When you get that this is medical, not a moral issue, it lifts the crushing weight of judgment that keeps people from reaching out after a slip.
The statistics tell an important story: research from the National Institute on Drug Abuse indicates that relapse rates for substance use disorder range from 40-60%, remarkably similar to relapse rates for other chronic conditions like hypertension and asthma. Relapse isn’t a reflection of weakness or lack of willpower; it’s a characteristic of managing a chronic disease that requires ongoing treatment and lifestyle adjustments.
But here’s where The Blanchard Institute’s approach is different: every reoccurrence is an opportunity for growth, to listen and learn; a reoccurrence tells you something important. When a setback happens, it shows you exactly where your recovery plan needs work. Which coping skills didn’t hold up when you needed them? What emotions or situations overpowered everything else? These answers become the blueprint for building something stronger.
The brain and frontal cortex’s ability to heal, it’s neuroplasticity, means that recovery is always possible! Not only is it possible, the brain and individual can come back stronger and more resilient than before! Empirical evidence shows us that when treated properly the brain actually increases in mass and strength when it returns! It’s called: Post Traumatic Growth! Likewise, each attempt at sobriety—even if interrupted—contributes to the rewiring process. “More and more studies are showing that when you get into recovery, your brain heals,” says addiction psychiatrist Timothy Fong in UCLA Health.
Understanding addiction through this scientific lens transforms how we approach setbacks: not as dead ends, but as diagnostic opportunities.
Shame vs. Self-Compassion: The Critical Turning Point
The hours and days after a reoccurrence? That’s when everything hangs in the balance. What happens next determines whether this becomes a bump in the road or a full slide backward. And the deciding factor isn’t willpower: it’s how you talk to yourself.
Shame is the most dangerous thing you can feel in reoccurrence recovery. It tells you you’re fundamentally broken, that asking for help again just proves you’re hopeless, that everyone will judge you. Shame makes you want to hide, and hiding is where a slip turns into something much worse. When shame takes over, people ghost their therapist, skip meetings, and tell themselves they’ll reach out once they “have it together.” That’s exactly when things spiral. Shame is different than guilt. Guilt is: I did something bad. Shame is: I am bad.
Self-compassion, by contrast, is what gets you back on track. This doesn’t mean letting yourself off the hook or pretending it didn’t happen. It means treating yourself like you’d treat a friend going through the same thing. Self-compassion keeps you moving forward. It gets you to pick up the phone instead of giving up.
Practical First Steps
If you’ve experienced a relapse or reoccurrence, these immediate actions can stop the slide:
- Stop the behavior immediately. The most important action you can take is to end the substance use right now. One use doesn’t have to become two, and two doesn’t have to become a week. This moment right now is when you reclaim your agency.
- Call your support system without delay. Contact your sponsor, therapist, recovery coach, or a trusted loved one. The urge to hide is powerful, but hiding will only make things worse. The people who care about you want to hear from you… especially right now. They’re not going anywhere because you slipped up.
- Return to structure immediately. Get back to your treatment plan, show up to a meeting, or reach out to your treatment provider. The faster you plug back in, the less ground addiction can take back.
The Blanchard Institute’s Blueprint for Resilience
At The Blanchard Institute relapse program, we’ve built an approach that turns relapse or reoccurrence into resilience. Our structured relapse prevention programs don’t just help you get back on your feet; they help you stand on firmer ground than before.
The Relapse or Reoccurrence Autopsy
One of our most powerful tools is what we call the Relapse or Reoccurrence Autopsy—a non-judgmental, detailed review conducted with a trained clinician. Together, you’ll map the exact chain of events, thoughts, feelings, circumstances, and decisions that created vulnerability. This isn’t about assigning blame; it’s about gathering intelligence. Because knowledge is power.
Was there an unexpected stressor? Did certain emotions feel overwhelming? Were you in a high-risk environment? Had you been skipping elements of your recovery routine? The Relapse Autopsy identifies these factors with precision, transforming what feels like random failure into a clear picture of specific challenges that need addressing.
Skill Refinement and Strengthening
Armed with insights from the Relapse Autopsy, we focus intensively on strengthening the skills that proved insufficient. This might include:
- Advanced emotion regulation techniques for managing anxiety, anger, or sadness without substances
- Stress management strategies tailored to your specific triggers and lifestyle
- Boundary-setting skills to protect your recovery from people, places, or situations that increase risk
- Crisis management plans for navigating high-risk moments
Recovery is a learned set of skills, and like any skill, it requires practice, refinement, and sometimes professional coaching to master.
Aftercare and the Continuum of Care
Perhaps the most critical element of our approach is recognizing that recovery isn’t a finish line you cross and leave behind. It’s an ongoing commitment that requires sustained support. Our aftercare and alumni services provide the long-term structure that prevents future relapses by maintaining connection, accountability, and continued skill-building.
Learn more about how to build a support network in recovery here.
Research consistently shows that the longer someone remains engaged with treatment and support services, the stronger and more durable their recovery becomes. We build aftercare plans that flex with your needs, ensuring support is always available as you navigate the complexities of sustained sobriety.
Supporting Loved Ones
For family members and loved ones reading this: your response to someone’s relapse can either facilitate their return to recovery or deepen their shame. Avoid blame and recrimination. Instead, express concern, encourage immediate re-engagement with treatment, and reinforce your belief in their ability to recover. Your compassion doesn’t enable continued use—it provides the safety needed for them to be honest and seek help quickly.
Conclusion: The True Definition of Progress
Here’s the truth about recovery that takes time to fully understand: progress is not measured by uninterrupted sobriety. Counting days of continuous sobriety is an understandable way to keep track of incredible achievement. Although in most cases we strive for abstinence, progress is measured in connection and relationships. We do not expect perfection, we support and empower a connection within oneself and one’s family. TBI’s believes and lives out our mission in how we view reoccurrence and recovery: we believe all individuals and families wake up and deserve to live happy, healthy, more connected and fulfilled lives!
Every person in long-term recovery has faced moments of vulnerability. What separates those who achieve lasting sobriety from those who don’t isn’t the absence of setbacks. It’s how quickly they respond when setbacks occur. It’s the willingness to be honest, to ask for help, to learn from what happened, and to re-engage with even greater commitment.
Relapse or reoccurrence doesn’t cancel the progress you’ve made, the skills you’ve learned, the insights you’ve gained, or the the days you’ve spent in recovery. You still have all that. Instead, relapse reveals the necessary next steps for growth. It shows where your recovery plan needs reinforcement, which skills need deepening, and what support structures need strengthening.
You are not starting over. You’re continuing forward with more knowledge than you had before.
At The Blanchard Institute, we’re ready to provide non-judgmental relapse recovery support and help you build a stronger, more informed recovery plan. Whether this is your first setback or you’re struggling to find your footing after multiple attempts, we believe in your capacity for recovery. The journey continues, and we’re here to walk it with you.
Recovery is always possible, and it starts with reaching out. Contact us at 704-900-1349 today. Recovery is always possible, and it starts with reaching out.
FAQs
Q: What is the difference between a “lapse” and a “relapse”?
A: A lapse is a single, brief return to use. A relapse is a full return to patterns of regular, compulsive use. The goal is to catch a lapse before it becomes a relapse.
Q: How soon should I seek help after a setback?
A: Immediately. The single most important factor in a successful return to recovery is the speed of re-engagement with your support system (sponsor, therapist, or treatment center).
Q: Does having a relapse mean my previous time in sobriety was wasted?
A: Absolutely not. Every day of sobriety builds mental muscle, teaches you skills, and rewires the brain. This progress remains and provides a stronger foundation for your renewed recovery effort.